Temper Tantrums in Children - what are they and what causes them?
What are temper tantrums
A tantrum is an expression of loss of emotional control. The outburst is usually displayed by a combination of some of these (In increasing order of seriousness):- Verbal:
Crying, shouting, screaming, use of bad language. - Resistance:
Stubbornness, Defiance, sulking, defensive stance (arms folded, back rigid, chin forward) - Physical:
Waving or shaking of limbs and head, breath holding. - Aggressive to objects:
Banging, stomping, slamming doors. - Aggressive to people:
Hitting, kicking, biting, name calling.
These outbursts are a form of anti-social behavior, designed to focus attention on the person having the tantrum. Adult examples include smoking, shoplifting, drug taking and behaving promiscuously.
What causes Temper Tantrums
Certain personality types are more prone to Temper Tantrums. They are a normal part of a child's development, and do not have to be seen negatively. Children do not have the same level of control or inhibitions as adults.Imagine that you have just purchased a new camera. It's got every feature you need, and it hooks up to your PC directly. You manage to get the camera working, take loads of photos, and then accidently delete them all. How do you react? Do you throw down the camera and swear, run out of the room, slamming the door behind you? That's an adult version of a temper tantrum. Toddlers are trying to manage facing a huge number of frustrating things. There are so many situations that they face where the task in hand is currently impossible for them to solve. Their method of venting their frustration is a tantrum.
Temper trigger factors - What makes a temper tantrum more likely?
When a child can't achieve something or can't obtain something, it doesn't always result in an outburst- so what triggers it?So what will trigger an outburst in your toddler?:
If they're uncomfortable:
- Tired
- Hungry
- Wet
- Cold
- Hot
- Sore
- Sick.
If they feel ignored:
- When you are busy
- Not listening
- Can't understand them
- Haven't had much "one-on-one" today.
If they're unsure of themselves:
- New baby
- New crèche
- New home
- New rules
- Any significant change in their lives.
If they can't get something:
Whether its food, drink, a treat, a playdate or a new toy, when the reaction is a temper tantrum, there is usually something else wrong.If they can't communicate what they want
Younger children understand far more than they can express, and they feel a far larger range of emotions than they can understand. Imagine you were transported to another country, where you only spoke a few words of the language, imagine how frustrating everything would be for you.If they can't do something
Your toddler wants to be independent. This is a natural part of growing up, and the drive to be able to do things for themselves is very strong. Children are often unreasonably impatient with themselves when they fail.Avoiding temper tantrums
It is possible to avoid the situations that cause temper tantrums. As there are a number of factors, it can be a challenge to cover them all. Check out how do you avoid temper tantrums?Dealing with temper tantrums
A situation got a bit out of hand and now your wee one is heading for tantrum city. How do you head them off at the pass? See Dealing with Temper Tantrums for some suggestions.
